Tuesday, April 08, 2008

thoughts in mind @ faith in heart

Time flies...this week is already the last week of my 1st semester in IMU. And my following weeks will be study break before End of Sem exam!! And it will be a period of "determination and will power test" again, hahaha.. coz each time studying before exam I need to struggle not to fall asleep (while studying) with enough 'will power', lol

Lately I checked on the way I think 'now'. I realised the way I think changed bit by bit as I live life from day to day. So I realised it's really a good thing to blog frequently when time allows - to keep track of my thoughts and memories, reminding me of my weaknesses and strengths, not forgetting the lesson of appreciation. I found out the reason of me not blogging consistently is only because of two factors : either I am busy or I am unwilling... Unwilling in a way that I'm not so used to really share out most of my thoughts publicly. That was a blocking stone... now I think I'm slowly comfortable with journaling publicly....to drop my thoughts somewhere so I can have a better view of my life.

Well to sum up my personal updates, I experience a big change in the way I think about life and the way I live life, my personal interest had also changed. I never blog in detail about my spiritual growth before, it's quite abstract, like a story to be told but before that it needs time to build its chapters...until now.

And it all starts at the point I allow myself to experience God. It's pretty amazing how God had lead me since my first step of faith. To date back, I remember it was not a 100% of faith at that time. It was a desire that burst from within me to want to 'get hold of ' this amazing God during the first time I felt His presence... And then, I acccepted Christ with some kind of trust, not actually knowing much about Him. Nevertheless I didn't sportingly tell most of my old friends about my faith, except a few, i'm just not confident enough, and was so scared about how others will think about me.. It took me quite a long time before I was so confident about my faith in Christ. I continued to search for more of Him, and God works through me in an amazing way over time, without me realising it...And that's the special way of God..

I believe that God has me in mind since the beginning also! I know He has a chosen path for me, and everything and everyone who came into my life was not by coincident afterall. I'm really thankful to have a great family of God - W22 cell group and CHC! =) a bunch of "sot-kays" who helped me a lot in my spiritual growth! haha.... God was always there to help me stand firm by faith in times when I face struggles... I need to really trust Him to keep on going...

Yup... I will trust Him.

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